Saturday, November 24, 2007

Your past, My past. Where I am.

I cant help but trust dogs. Its a flaw, because not all dogs can be trusted. But I used to have a great dog. Loyal to the very end. And I grew up and moved away and left him behind, but he never forgot me. He always greeted me with a wagging tail. Best dog ever.

My past experiences are a mixed bag. But hey, we all have baggage and so far we can't change the past (a life time of reading science fiction novels tells me it wont be long before we can). My life to date, my experiences have shaped me and made me who I am today.

I like who I am. Mostly. (I mean I wish I was less judgemental and more social and more caring in general) But I am who I am. I think I'm okay. I am happy. (actually I'm really happy!) I have stress, but its just small stuff. The big picture stuff is going sweet.

I am internal. That means I believe that I am responsible for my own fate and happiness. That my own thoughts and not external factors determine my happiness. I have low points like everyone, but I bounce back very quickly. The only depression I ever suffered was due to the pill and obviously I don't take that one anymore.

I have discounted my teenage angst. I went through it, so does everyone. Its over (thank god) I've let it go. Of course it molded me, but it doesn't hurt me anymore.

And now today, in the present. I do things that make me happy. I've only got one chance at it.

I am the sum of all influence, experience past. I am nothing more than memories and teachings of twenty years ago. I am five, I am thirteen, I am seventeen and twenty seven.

I am all that you made me.

1 comment:

Zee said...

That's pretty awesome stuff for a Scientician. I think you're really a poet PRETENDING to be a Scientician. Hmmm? ;o)